Sacmps

Sacmps are a form of Internet Troll found on Wikias worldwide, they are strange anomalies that combine traits of both Daedra and Trolls. Even veteran Wikia editors are baffled by their existence as their true intentions remain unclear.

Behavior
Sacmps typically appear out of nowhere, they are drawn to communities surrounding things that they like, like a moth to a flame. Sacmps have incredibly poor English skills, to the point that they can barely communicate with humans at all.

Upon making first contact with a community they will create a blog post announcing their arrival, usually greeting everyone with a simple “hello” and announcing that they are “new.” They will then either leave the blog/forum post below blank or put in the bare minimum that they can get away with.

It is difficult to deduce if Sacmps are tragic figures of limited intelligence or manipulative pests, who wear a mask of incompetence to evade a ban. Either way, upon arrival they study the behaviour of their fellow contributors and try to mimic their behaviour.

Sacmps will try to appear productive by adding a series of dumb edits to articles, usually adding a line unnecessarily to an existing article or adding incorrect or pointless information. Sacmps have no concept of spelling, grammar, punctuation, paragraphing, formatting or elegance, not even at a basic level and produce the ugliest content and display incompetence to a subhuman degree.

Eventually Sacmps will establish contact with the Wikia’s chat room, where it will attend the discussions but contribute very little to them that resembles a coherent sentence in the English language. This usually causes them to be overshadowed, sometimes resulting in them saying or doing things for negative attention, though this isn’t always a given.

After a few weeks (a decade in Sacmp years), a Sacmp will wish to establish dominance over their peers. They will straightfacedly request to become an administrator or perhaps a lower level officer, if they wish to appear modest. Most users explain to them that they cannot be an officer of the wiki, because they have the work ethic of a sloth that has had all of its arms and legs amputated. However, because they cannot understand English very well, Sacmps will continue pushing onwards, demanding that at least somebody respects their authority.

Upon realising that nobody in their right mind would ever advocate a Sacmp in any role of power, the Sacmp will then try to alter reality, usually by adding their own names to the list of administrators, hoping to go unnoticed long enough for it to become a fact. When a true administrator or your average user notices this, twenty seconds later, the admin page is rolled back and the Sacmp is warned not to do it again.

They will then proceed to try other methods of altering reality, such as changing their ‘AKA’ on their profile to ‘Admin’ or telling people in the chat that they are a moderator or admin, obviously missing the necessary star icon to make this a fact. Eventually, people get tired of their garbage and tell them to cut it out, this usually results in a hail of foul mouthed abuse, which usually ends with a strict warning or a temporary ban.

After their attempts to change reality fail, they begin to take the final step in a Sacmp’s metamorphosis. The Sacmp will found their own dominion, where they can rule and the first ten people who visit the wiki or make edits can carry out their will (even if these edits are obvious signs of vandalism, they don’t notice, because as we’ve established they can’t speak English very well). These wikis are usually smaller aspects of the wiki that they have left, the contents of which are often summarised in one page on more competent wikis, things such as individual games as part of franchises (like Game Skyrim Wiki) or even individual characters as part of games (Like Craig Boone Wiki… No, really!).

Sacmps will then return to their previous wiki and will inform everyone that they can rejoice for a new kingdom has been founded. This is usually met with a wall of indifference but Sacmps don’t understand complex human concepts such as sarcasm, frustration or common sense so they do not see it and thus they are encouraged to start shamelessly self advertising their new wikis.

Tragedy will soon strike as the Sacmp will realise the dreaded truth, that being an admin of a stillborn wiki is not as empowering as they originally believed. The Sacmp will refuse this truth though and will constantly link their beloved wiki on other wikis or community central, until they are either perma banned or worse, ignored to death.

Battle Strategy
If one encounters a Sacmp, the greatest thing that they can do is avoid giving it an excuse to irritate the hell out of everyone. Most Sacmps live a short lifespan of three months before fizzling out or getting permabanned but in the event that they persist, call an admin so that he or she can take it out back and shoot it.

Behind the Scenes
The name 'Sacmp' is a mispelling of the word 'Scamp,' made by a Sacmp user, this mistake was one of the few things that amused the poor sod, who had to clean up his mess and as a result, he ended up naming their entire race after it.